Why Can't I Melt Your Cold, Cold Heart?

Greetings, everyone.  Sorry I've been M.I.A. for such a long time, I didn't realize how long it had been! I've been readjusting to life on my own these past couple weeks; I moved back to SLO to begin my second year at Cal Poly (WOOOO!!!!!).

I will be living in my sorority house this year: the Pink Palace containing 18 lovely ladies who love to be cray cray.  And who love food.  It's literally so hard for me to stay awake long enough for me to write this right now because of all the unbelievably massive amounts of utterly delicious food I consumed this fine evening. Christ.

Despite having looked forward to coming back home to SLO literally all summer long, I can't help but feel a bit lonely lately.  It still feels like there's something missing, but I have no idea what.  It's barely been three weeks, but already I feel like I've been through so much! I turned 20 (help), caught up with my friends, made some new friends, started my old job at a new location, and began my Fall quarter classes yesterday.  YIKES.

Right now I am listening to the entire Norah Jones album "Come Away With Me," which is always a good idea.  Always.  It never fails to relax me or create serenity when I'm feeling a little rough after a long or weird day.  I've been going through this thing lately where I find myself really, really wishing I had a boyfriend.  Or at least someone to tell me I'm beautiful, to make me laugh, to hold me in his arms and all the rest of that wonderful cliche shit.  As much as I tell myself I'm totally and completely happy with my girls and my life the way it is, I know me... I definitely want a man in my life.  (Come on ladies, don't pretend you don't feel the same haha)

So anyhoo, Norah seems to be both sympathizing with these feelings how wonderful a man could be, yet also managing to remind me of how many times guys have let me go.  My two favorites are "Cold, Cold Heart" and "Lonestar." While Cold, Cold Heart reflects the feeling of having a man's pain from a former flame projected onto yourself, Lonestar sounds more hopeful, and perhaps reminiscent.

Perhaps the biggest challenge when it comes to relationships is that we sometimes struggle to acknowledge the fact that at some point, we have to accept that we cannot change a person, no matter how much we convince ourselves otherwise.  Just because something worked in the past does not mean it will ever work again, and that can be an extremely hard fact to accept without wincing a little from the pain it causes.

But, the good news is, good things happen when we least expect them.  So I'll carry on and keep busy, and maybe Mr. Wonderful will sweep you off your feet in the middle of Psychology class or something totally unrealistic like that.

God, I just read that sentence. Ew. Sorry guys I'm gonna stop now.  But go listen to some Norah Jones and let her sing you to sleep, and I promise, you'll feel better in the morning.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5K5HPlAbPY&list=PL84F1D4373E06FD97



<3 Syd